About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋
tessa1110001's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
tessa1110001's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
by 4yrldkicker / 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2009 at 6:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 07/27/2009 at 3:32am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
by vomitingnow / 07/22/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML
by emkatch / 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I got an email from a local company looking to have a website made. I looked over their request and provided them with a reasonable offer. I got an email back stating that they would like to pay me with liquor instead of money. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by hrtbrkn / 07/16/2009 at 9:44am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
by Told_You_So / 07/09/2009 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
by expen_dable / 07/06/2009 at 1:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by kewlio45 / 07/01/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous