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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3409
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋

tessa1110001's page activity

Visits<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>briang959</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:27pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:13pm<b>apaleontologist</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:29pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:32pm<b>arebeewhy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:08pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 9:53pm

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tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56998) - you deserved it (9881)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

#4443952
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (98987)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

#4412595
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11790) - you deserved it (62678)

On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

#4362342
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45506) - you deserved it (2518)

On 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm - misc - by LT (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45885) - you deserved it (7644)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (502296)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54815) - you deserved it (2091)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

#4228072
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42080) - you deserved it (30609)

On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66957) - you deserved it (15329)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48435) - you deserved it (2174)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51106) - you deserved it (21089)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49847) - you deserved it (7809)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

#4102567
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (110909)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14237) - you deserved it (40341)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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