About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋
tessa1110001's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
tessa1110001's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
by SOdamnNervous / 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
by ElevatorThug / 08/25/2009 at 5:17am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
by A.L.Woody / 08/11/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by pwndbykidz / 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by LT / 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
by kmb04 / 08/02/2009 at 11:12am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML
by roofer / 07/31/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between… Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He… Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't…