tessa1110001

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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5573
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋

tessa1110001's page activity

Visits<b>sloosh</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:48am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:43am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:42am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:35pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:56pm<b>briang959</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:27pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:13pm<b>apaleontologist</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:29pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:32pm<b>arebeewhy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:08pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 9:53pm

tessa1110001's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of tessa1110001's badges

tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

by SOdamnNervous / 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

by ElevatorThug / 08/25/2009 at 5:17am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

by A.L.Woody / 08/11/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

by pwndbykidz / 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

by LT / 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

by kmb04 / 08/02/2009 at 11:12am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

by roofer / 07/31/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous