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50 favourites
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Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (27677)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31575) - you deserved it (7827)
On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26355) - you deserved it (3991)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19723) - you deserved it (3579)
On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (2354)
On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (2164)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (3495)
On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (2827)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (7534) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/31/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by heallven - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (3902)
On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (3151) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22257) - you deserved it (1206)
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (2625)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (1672)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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