tessa1110001

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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5765
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋

tessa1110001's page activity

Visits<b>sloosh</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:48am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:43am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:42am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:35pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:56pm<b>briang959</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:27pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:13pm<b>apaleontologist</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:29pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:32pm<b>arebeewhy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:08pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 9:53pm

tessa1110001's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of tessa1110001's badges

tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

by lostforlife / 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

by rkbkate / 07/11/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

by idiot / 07/09/2012 at 5:26pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

by totallyembarassed / 07/07/2012 at 12:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

by 303 / 07/05/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 9:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

by melikeyturtles / 07/03/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous