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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2119
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4465) - you deserved it (51348)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (2320)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML

#19956354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16340) - you deserved it (1821)

On 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm - work - by FOXYgrandpa441 - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7689) - you deserved it (26887)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

#19939674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19050) - you deserved it (1262)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7720) - you deserved it (21673)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (4506)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

#19921973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (7562)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18231) - you deserved it (1008)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (2205)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

#19915541
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7399) - you deserved it (12225)

On 07/09/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by idiot - United States

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50771) - you deserved it (3669)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8277) - you deserved it (15980)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

#19896001
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17549) - you deserved it (1570)

On 07/05/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by 303 - United States (Texas)



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