About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I agree, their lives suck
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tessa1110001's favorite FMLs
by Roma-Jay / 07/22/2012 at 10:13am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML
by fxck / 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML
by Mitch / 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm / Puerto Rico / Love
by ThatGirl / 07/19/2012 at 11:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
by FOXYgrandpa441 / 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Wyoming) / Work
by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy
by kerensa / 07/15/2012 at 1:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by tapeissticky591 / 07/14/2012 at 1:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…