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Offline (the 10/20/2016 at 4:43am)



  • Town/Country : Wahiawa, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14182
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Island Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 11:27pm<b>madysloth</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 8:51pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 1:36am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 1:49am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:26pm<b>phantomxbg</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:31pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:26pm<b>completerubbish</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:07am<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:31pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:06am<b>roman11</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:21am<b>the_real_dvd</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:09pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:20pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:45pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 10:56pm<b>lexipodamus</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:26pm<b>Perinsond</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 5:39am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:00am

Fucked!<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:49am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:26am<b>austinbaa</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 6:41am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:48pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>siham_andalous</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:14am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:10am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

by trp007 / 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

by unloved cat owner / 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

by HereKittyKitty / 12/01/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm / France / Health

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

by fecal romance / 11/23/2013 at 5:32am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

by useless pos / 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

by vat / 02/25/2013 at 3:33am / Hong Kong / Love