Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

teresa96706

Search for a member

teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Ewa Beach, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 6379
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's last visitors

slayer447AdiedeeAnnie_Mouseturquoise_katOmni7w_introuble

teresa96706's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (31369)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (1646)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (6892)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (26454)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14592) - you deserved it (24704)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32906) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (8732)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (6403)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33727) - you deserved it (1946)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (2234)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

#20500655
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (3558)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28426) - you deserved it (2161)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13108) - you deserved it (49340)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: