Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

teresa96706

Online | Search for a member

teresa96706

11Fucked!

teresa96706teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10986
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Island Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>Exaspera</b> - 2 hours ago<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - yesterday at 3:26pm<b>metallicsounds</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 7:43am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:47am<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:05am<b>yagirlhaley</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:50pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:31am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:26am<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:00am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:54am<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:23am<b>2ophiia</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:17am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:15am<b>vikky538</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:48am<b>hiddenaccount</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:16am<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:12am<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:18am

Fucked!<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:48pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>siham_andalous</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:14am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:10am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30031) - you deserved it (2626)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (5548)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40985) - you deserved it (4204)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

#21307507
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (6239)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37052) - you deserved it (7494)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (8660)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (24817)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54576) - you deserved it (11940)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50850) - you deserved it (7645)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55273) - you deserved it (7369)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69137) - you deserved it (8642)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (5061)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: