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teresa96706

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teresa96706

4Fucked!

teresa96706teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9246
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:10am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:11pm<b>captainmarrr</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:31am<b>ocapi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:56pm<b>torn616</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:11pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:12pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:54am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:03am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:49am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:04am<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:48pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:09am<b>Thoms34</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:35pm<b>Jellysweetheart</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 4:28am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51775) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38624) - you deserved it (11234)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27508) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33436) - you deserved it (4982)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (8308)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (12648)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (3507)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6979) - you deserved it (45556)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39394) - you deserved it (10389)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

#20515105
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (13967)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34066) - you deserved it (2926)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (7599)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (4858)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States



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