Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

teresa96706

Online | Search for a member

teresa96706

7Fucked!

teresa96706teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9766
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:11pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:28pm<b>Zeeennnaaa</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:55pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>manugreenlee</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:56pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:43pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:23pm<b>mari_oox</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:16pm<b>panda4545</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:05am<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:21am<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:16pm<b>_Alanna_xx</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:23am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:42am<b>qsni</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:22am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 10:11pm

Fucked!<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:10am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38948) - you deserved it (4268)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (5244)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (4695)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43245) - you deserved it (18120)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (13432)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53959) - you deserved it (15056)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (40421)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49914) - you deserved it (6998)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40885) - you deserved it (8901)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43803) - you deserved it (13380)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: