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teresa96706

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teresa96706

4Fucked!

teresa96706teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9225
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:10am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:11pm<b>captainmarrr</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:31am<b>ocapi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:56pm<b>torn616</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:11pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:12pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:54am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:03am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:49am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:04am<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:48pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:09am<b>Thoms34</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:35pm<b>Jellysweetheart</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 4:28am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32749) - you deserved it (12825)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53871) - you deserved it (15035)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (38495)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49176) - you deserved it (6921)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (8552)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41588) - you deserved it (12556)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

#20977142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/01/2013 at 3:27pm - animals - by HereKittyKitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (4050)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46934) - you deserved it (5563)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51775) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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