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teresa96706

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teresa96706

3Fucked!

teresa96706teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8805
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:12am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:54pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:36pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:45pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:01am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:57pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:07pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:04am<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:48pm<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:00am<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:09am<b>Thoms34</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:35pm<b>Jellysweetheart</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 4:28am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:29am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:28pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Orphic</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:46pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38919) - you deserved it (8549)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41562) - you deserved it (12546)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

#20977142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (2513)

On 12/01/2013 at 3:27pm - animals - by HereKittyKitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (4049)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46909) - you deserved it (5562)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51737) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (10688)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (4980)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36462) - you deserved it (8027)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (12642)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (3504)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)



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