Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

teresa96706

Online | Search for a member

teresa96706

6Fucked!

teresa96706teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9618
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>panda4545</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:05am<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:21am<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:16pm<b>_Alanna_xx</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:23am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:42am<b>qsni</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:22am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 10:19pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 10:11pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:11pm<b>captainmarrr</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:31am<b>ocapi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:56pm<b>torn616</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:11pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:12pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:54am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:03am

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (9841)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (84)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (2276)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32792) - you deserved it (5257)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (4005)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

#21307507
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33090) - you deserved it (4298)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28282) - you deserved it (5996)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33660) - you deserved it (6480)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (8444)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: