Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

teresa96706

Search for a member

teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Ewa Beach, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 June 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 4985
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About teresa96706 : My name is Teresa. I am with a wonderful, spectacular man of my dreams :) I attend University of Hawaii at Manoa :D
I am sometimes a grammar nazi. I also really hate it when people say "oooh!! You're from Hawaii? How do you get internet?" or some stupid shit like that. I don't live on a rock where every one are cavemen.
Gamer girl, loves assassins creed III (PC), somewhat okay with BF3 only on the PC. Add me: MaheaDubsYuMore
My boyfriend says I have ADD because it's very difficult for me to stay on one topic, so ugh I guess be warned?

teresa96706's last visitors

jamalamadingdongPerceptionRedPillSucksjmcgee17Tim2415DuRpYRevengeIsSweetPitbull305capper44perdix

teresa96706's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

#20513703
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6689) - you deserved it (14965)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (1856)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32592) - you deserved it (6292)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (2725)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23732) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13638) - you deserved it (36581)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5908) - you deserved it (35057)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (1847)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (25087)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (2127)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11386) - you deserved it (29890)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (3647)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29196) - you deserved it (1604)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38222) - you deserved it (5706)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: