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Offline (17 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : Wahiawa, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14237
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Island Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 11:27pm<b>madysloth</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 8:51pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 1:36am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 1:49am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:26pm<b>phantomxbg</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:31pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:26pm<b>completerubbish</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:07am<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:31pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:06am<b>roman11</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:21am<b>the_real_dvd</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:09pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:20pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:45pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 10:56pm<b>lexipodamus</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:26pm<b>Perinsond</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 5:39am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:00am

Fucked!<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:49am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:26am<b>austinbaa</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 6:41am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:48pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>siham_andalous</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:14am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:10am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML

by soulaar / 10/02/2015 at 10:22am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML

by Sestricken / 08/11/2015 at 8:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

by I love L / 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous