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Offline (the 10/20/2016 at 4:43am)



  • Town/Country : Wahiawa, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14177
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Island Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 11:27pm<b>madysloth</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 8:51pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 1:36am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 1:49am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:26pm<b>phantomxbg</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:31pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:26pm<b>completerubbish</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:07am<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:31pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:06am<b>roman11</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:21am<b>the_real_dvd</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:09pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:20pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:45pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 10:56pm<b>lexipodamus</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:26pm<b>Perinsond</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 5:39am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:00am

Fucked!<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:49am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:26am<b>austinbaa</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 6:41am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:48pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>siham_andalous</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:14am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:10am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML

by Jaided_Genetics / 08/17/2016 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke to the sound of my baby crying at 4 a.m. I also heard my partner snoring, knowing he was not beside me and the baby was not in her crib, I went into the nursery. There was my crying baby laying across my snoring partner's chest. Guess he fell asleep during feeding time. FML

Today, that awesome new dubstep song that I was rocking out to in my car was actually my transmission falling apart. FML

by El Jeffe / 07/05/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Transportation

Today, I overheard my friends laughing about how my anxiety means I'll be single forever. I was too anxious to confront them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 1:45pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health

Today, my family is flying to Hawaii for a longed-for holiday. Well, my husband and children are; I'm in a hospital bed awaiting surgery on kidney stones that I never knew I had. Hopefully they'll send me a postcard. FML

by Drover7 / 04/07/2016 at 7:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Holidays

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

by Baegel / 03/01/2016 at 8:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give up going to a therapist because it was too expensive and my parents couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, a girl in my class is getting a therapist for her dog. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2016 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

by LL / 02/04/2016 at 9:13am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

by anon / 02/01/2016 at 11:37am / United States / Love

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

by mutantprincess / 01/12/2016 at 5:48am / Australia / Animals

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML

by First World Problems / 01/08/2016 at 9:34am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy