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teresa96706

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teresa96706

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7519
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>Orphic</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:46pm<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:27pm<b>BOOKWEIRDO</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:47pm<b>shakiam014</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:13am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 5:06pm<b>lilmissish</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:50am<b>ryan4723</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 2:20am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:26am<b>DerezzedNoob</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:15am<b>xalexandrax12</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:58pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>Adiedee</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Annie_Mouse</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 3:37pm<b>bryant2900</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 3:30pm<b>turquoise_kat</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:19pm<b>20smc09</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:15am<b>Omni7</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:59am

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teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33871) - you deserved it (22528)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51258) - you deserved it (11163)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47438) - you deserved it (7219)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51717) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63703) - you deserved it (8099)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45200) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (3978)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43569) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (4574)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40397) - you deserved it (16908)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (12555)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49887) - you deserved it (13836)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML



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