Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About tellithowitis : Oh hi, I'm a nose. It gets quite lonely being a nose, but I do get to meet a lot of other noses but they are quite nosy and rude. Im a GIRL nose. A GIRL. Don't you dare call me a he\his/it because I will blow up and boogers will be all over you.
I think I'm a pretty outgoing nose. I like to jump to different people. I like to travel. But I do just like being on my host. I feed off of its face. Just kidding. Or not. Or so. Whatever you find not revolting.
It's pretty hard being a nose. I have to type everything with the point of my nose (this took me 3 hours to write.) Its not easy being cheesy.
I finally got the new fml version so feel free to message me!
I like the regular commenters and I just like to make people laugh. Who nose, maybe you learned something from my profile! Hope you have enjoyed stalking me.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Friday 17 October 2014