Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About tellithowitis : Oh hi, I'm a nose. It gets quite lonely being a nose, but I do get to meet a lot of other noses but they are quite nosy and rude. Im a GIRL nose. A GIRL. Don't you dare call me a he\his/it because I will blow up and boogers will be all over you.
I think I'm a pretty outgoing nose. I like to jump to different people. I like to travel. But I do just like being on my host. I feed off of its face. Just kidding. Or not. Or so. Whatever you find not revolting.
It's pretty hard being a nose. I have to type everything with the point of my nose (this took me 3 hours to write.) Its not easy being cheesy.
I finally got the new fml version so feel free to message me!
I like the regular commenters and I just like to make people laugh. Who nose, maybe you learned something from my profile! Hope you have enjoyed stalking me.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Thursday 11 September 2014