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teh_uber_muffin

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teh_uber_muffin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 635
  • Number of comments : 131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teh_uber_muffin : Trumpet player. Generally using the app. Xbox. Blah blah blah.
Sirinz.org you fucking slut.

teh_uber_muffin's page activity

Visits<b>MurderBlack</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:18pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 1:56am<b>SticksandSkins</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 6:28am<b>slippy327</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 5:16am<b>adragonhunter</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 4:06pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 3:37am<b>river14</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 10:53pm<b>apu_nahasapeemap</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 11:07pm<b>LittleJess23</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 11:17am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 3:27am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 12:13pm<b>KGD</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:50pm<b>maripili_IN</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 11:33pm<b>SaxophoneHero</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:00am<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 12:47am<b>Oregonkid9</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:58pm<b>isuckok</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:41pm

teh_uber_muffin's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

teh_uber_muffin's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (4817)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (15672)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39397) - you deserved it (11583)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33591) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs for a month. FML

#17680724
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (1991)

On 09/06/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by purpleivy (woman) - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (4009)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (2368)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47558) - you deserved it (5697)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36642) - you deserved it (31268)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (11185)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13231) - you deserved it (47272)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (5281)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
870 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58291) - you deserved it (618524)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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