teh_uber_muffin

Search for a member

teh_uber_muffin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 854
  • Number of comments : 131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teh_uber_muffin : Trumpet player. Generally using the app. Xbox. Blah blah blah.
Sirinz.org you fucking slut.

teh_uber_muffin's page activity

Visits<b>jon_894b</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 11:04am<b>cowduck7</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:45am<b>shiba10</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:02am<b>holly_fly</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:08pm<b>mc822</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:42am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:51am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:27am<b>colinabi</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:09pm<b>swegmuffin</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:43pm<b>LoganStar4</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:44pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:23am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:36pm<b>lucyisbae</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:00am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:52pm<b>kawaii666</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:30pm<b>sn24swim</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:57am

teh_uber_muffin's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

teh_uber_muffin's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

by BigMoney / 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

by fmlsrslyahhh / 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs for a month. FML

by purpleivy / 09/06/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

by ironic driver / 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

by ohaifml / 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids