About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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tacohead411's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous
by rileycrash / 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Ally / 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML
by Anon / 05/18/2011 at 7:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money
by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health
Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2011 at 1:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
by Faluna / 02/17/2011 at 4:27pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Intimacy
by mmromig / 02/08/2011 at 9:46am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…