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tacohead411

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tacohead411
  • Town/Country : Bikini Bottom, Narnia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7094
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.

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tacohead411's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57441) - you deserved it (3399)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44291) - you deserved it (23159)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35546) - you deserved it (9882)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34616) - you deserved it (12377)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9545) - you deserved it (20380)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

#15985974
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (6848)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31476) - you deserved it (2510)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

#15017196
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (3547)

On 02/17/2011 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Faluna (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

#14894190
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18745) - you deserved it (4544)

On 02/08/2011 at 9:46am - health - by mmromig - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8470) - you deserved it (36707)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18537) - you deserved it (10517)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43579) - you deserved it (7927)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

#12916563
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (4267)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:49am - misc - by wakinginvegas87 - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. After I left his house, I realized that my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket and onto his couch, where I had forgotten it. FML



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