About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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tacohead411's favorite FMLs
Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML
by purebliss / 12/05/2013 at 7:43pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML
by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Amy / 12/05/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML
by supras / 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm / United Kingdom (Luton) / Health
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML
by fuckface? I wish / 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (Texas) / Health
by MissDQ / 11/30/2013 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Jack / 11/30/2013 at 3:31am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2013 at 11:53am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by The greatest Illusion ever / 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…