About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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tacohead411's favorite FMLs
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
by SheenaL / 06/27/2011 at 2:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm / United States / Intimacy
by luni / 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
by Mommy / 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Unsanitary / 06/26/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids
by ugly / 06/26/2011 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by animallover / 06/26/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by smoothmove / 06/26/2011 at 12:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML
by TheStripedBeatle / 06/25/2011 at 9:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML
by muddygal / 06/25/2011 at 3:10pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation
Today, my neighbor passed away, and my father and I went to give his wife our condolences. In the middle of my dad's conversation with the wife, he says "I'm sorry for your loss, I knew Jim well, he was a great guy." The wife stares at him and says, "His name was Rich." FML
by Elliott_B / 06/24/2011 at 11:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous