Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tacohead411

Search for a member

tacohead411
  • Town/Country : Bikini Bottom, Narnia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7062
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.

tacohead411's last visitors

speechprincessTaytochill23Memen88stephenseiber1brokenman5katydid91Jamie_BondiHiccupBS

tacohead411's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of tacohead411's badges

tacohead411's favorite FMLs

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (2584)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26890) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML

#16894296
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (40821)

On 06/28/2011 at 5:53am - love - by Mrs.Slyfox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

#16893359
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40475) - you deserved it (7830)

On 06/28/2011 at 3:32am - health - by disgustedgf - United States

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

#16891673
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (3014)

On 06/28/2011 at 1:35am - misc - by veebenjoo - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

#16888373
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (4294)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

#16886494
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35022) - you deserved it (2710)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by fmylovelife - United States

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (33430)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

#16876528
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (9774)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (31787)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

#16868516
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31198) - you deserved it (8909)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30112) - you deserved it (7780)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8341) - you deserved it (21325)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

#16867532
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13214) - you deserved it (45093)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: