About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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tacohead411's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML
by omfgfmlife / 07/05/2011 at 10:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work
by Noff / 07/05/2011 at 5:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
by eatmywords / 07/05/2011 at 3:06am / Singapore / Love
by rejecteddd / 07/04/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Kate / 07/04/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
by hero to zero / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by oopsies / 07/04/2011 at 5:11am / United States / Animals
Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML
by Gustav Fjorder / 07/04/2011 at 3:27am / Switzerland / Miscellaneous
by monquiqui / 07/04/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
by emegemerald / 07/04/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Animals
- Today,after being single for close to 8 years I asked a girl out I have known for a few months. She… Today, my dog gave birth while I was school. My fucked up mom decided we didn't have the money too… Today, I was just about to open up to my best friend about my depression and loneliness when I see…