About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.
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I moderated this!
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
tacohead411's favorite FMLs
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm / United States (New York) / Health
by THOMASisMYname / 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 11:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:06am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
by Fmylife / 07/06/2011 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML
by Emily / 07/06/2011 at 4:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anna / 07/06/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML
by thoughtcrimeno1 / 07/06/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML
by ChelseaRae / 07/06/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Health
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my phone company to get some answers about my phone bill. I was okay with being put on hold. In fact, I was on hold for so long, that the music stopped playing. When someone finally answered they told me to call back tomorrow. All my phones disconnected an hour later. FML
by Broguy / 07/05/2011 at 10:20pm / Canada / Money
- Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both… Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the… Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't…