Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tacohead411

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 10:29pm) | Search for a member

tacohead411

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8248
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.

tacohead411's page activity

Visits<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:59pm<b>turnabouttrial</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 3:16am<b>speechprincess</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 12:52am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 7:14pm<b>Memen88</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:18pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 12:22pm<b>brokenman5</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 12:07pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 8:16am<b>Jamie_Bond</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 6:15pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 6:50pm<b>Ihaveonefriend</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 6:31pm

tacohead411's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of tacohead411's badges

tacohead411's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

#17023806
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44207) - you deserved it (6084)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (4352)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52930) - you deserved it (10551)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34535) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML

#17019799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45540) - you deserved it (2871)

On 07/07/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by anonbob (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34605) - you deserved it (2752)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12256) - you deserved it (27057)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53356) - you deserved it (3104)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at 3 o'clock. I allowed thirty minutes for the drive, but when I put my key in the ignition, the car wouldn't start. FML

#17017603
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (3906)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:29pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62575) - you deserved it (4981)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46151) - you deserved it (25048)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (6365)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
710 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (95085)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

#17010125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33032) - you deserved it (2422)

On 07/07/2011 at 2:23am - work - by photo grunt - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: