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tacohead411

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tacohead411
  • Town/Country : Bikini Bottom, Narnia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7082
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tacohead411 : Squidward is done with your shit.

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tacohead411's favorite FMLs

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46094) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl of my dreams said yes when I asked her out. Our conversation afterward consisted of her telling me "no one can know" and saying she doesn't want to do things normal couples do. I'm basically in the deepest level of the "friendzone": the friendzoned boyfriend. FML

#20983541
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47222) - you deserved it (4276)

On 12/07/2013 at 1:56am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37475) - you deserved it (20729)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

#20981275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (4241)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Amy - Australia (South Australia)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (2626)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51443) - you deserved it (4225)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44159) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46008) - you deserved it (9794)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (39477)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (3660)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39262) - you deserved it (3705)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (18509)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States



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