storyofmylife777

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storyofmylife777

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  • Number of visits : 713
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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storyofmylife777's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm<b>PicturePerfectly</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 11:07pm

storyofmylife777's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

storyofmylife777's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

by Ethan / 10/17/2009 at 7:13am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 9:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

by roofer / 07/31/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

by Andrexwife / 07/31/2009 at 3:03am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Love

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

by arsenic660 / 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

by Paco4242 / 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

by sheyo / 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

by lucy / 03/03/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

by lucy / 03/03/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

by lucy / 03/03/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

by lucy / 03/03/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy