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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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storyofmylife777

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storyofmylife777
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 302
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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storyofmylife777's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

#5863047 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (1242)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (11690) - you deserved it (31167)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (61168) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (40157) - you deserved it (1404)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

#4175008 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (3227)

On 07/31/2009 at 3:03am - love - by Andrexwife (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

#4147298 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (2812)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

#2842632 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (53200)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43464) - you deserved it (361127)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (16036) - you deserved it (162356)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

#192617 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (4170)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by lucy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

#185328 (448)

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (322965)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (95916) - you deserved it (16566)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141755) - you deserved it (53047)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (692)

I agree, your life sucks (342779) - you deserved it (22951)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)