Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stitch_book

Search for a member

stitch_book
  • Town/Country : Imperial Beach, California
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 3467
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About stitch_book : If I've ever addressed you, it's because I either whole-heartedly favor or detest the person you've presented yourself as. Whatever be the case, I chose to acknowledge your existence. Amazing, no? Yeah ... I guess not. :/

http://www.thesixtyone.com/s/AgH9TAwQxvv

stitch_book's last visitors

gavdarvJustBeingAwesomeanne90210zombieladiFreezeInBetweenDreamschalkdust

stitch_book's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of stitch_book's badges

stitch_book's favorite FMLs

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2896)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41435) - you deserved it (2810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

#14507444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (3884)

On 01/08/2011 at 11:01am - love - by Lily - United States (New York)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (5407)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

#14432295
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (6998)

On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

#14386924
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (6987)

On 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by ihateteenagers (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (3758)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

#14342949
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50736) - you deserved it (3886)

On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

#14197641
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23733) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML

#14151880
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (4685)

On 12/10/2010 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

#14142147
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (9608)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by katy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

#14136515
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (5356)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML

#14126795
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (4120)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - work - by underemployed (man) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: