Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

starw0lf

Offline (the 02/26/2014 at 7:58pm) | Search for a member

starw0lf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1564
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.

starw0lf's page activity

Visits<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>yamuri</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 8:26am<b>Soxfan16</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:15pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:02pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:15pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:54am<b>jicou</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:40am<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:37am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:06am<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:29pm<b>earmuffs</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:27am<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 8:27am<b>camjarvis44</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:17pm<b>capri96</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:47am<b>sleepRX</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 12:56am<b>tompou6</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 9:56pm<b>twhite23</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:26pm<b>thomashood</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:00pm

starw0lf's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of starw0lf's badges

starw0lf's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (3270)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

#20027507
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (1592)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (1761)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31487) - you deserved it (3438)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (3842)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (2786)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17902) - you deserved it (2281)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17824) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (4150)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (36752)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (15028)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (4976)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML

#19835247
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8898) - you deserved it (27000)

On 06/23/2012 at 6:21pm - work - by XoXonedirectionXoXo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (2195)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: