Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

starw0lf

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

starw0lf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3088
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.

starw0lf's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:13pm<b>badassmf1234</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:40am<b>Passerbyer</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:47am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:12am<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>yamuri</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 8:26am<b>Soxfan16</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:15pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:02pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:15pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:54am<b>jicou</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:40am<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:37am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:06am<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:29pm<b>earmuffs</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:27am<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 8:27am<b>camjarvis44</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:17pm<b>capri96</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:47am

starw0lf's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of starw0lf's badges

starw0lf's favorite FMLs

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49502) - you deserved it (5288)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76797) - you deserved it (6875)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48215) - you deserved it (3146)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51390) - you deserved it (6664)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

#20578784
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14720) - you deserved it (39881)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49007) - you deserved it (5771)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

#20568124
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47877) - you deserved it (4923)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15184) - you deserved it (56644)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16859) - you deserved it (33087)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42253) - you deserved it (5461)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

#20544812
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35879) - you deserved it (4807)

On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (2669)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31339) - you deserved it (5156)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: