About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.
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Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (2983)
On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42641) - you deserved it (3859)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (4502)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64329) - you deserved it (5326)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)
Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (2362)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (5436)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (6776)
On 04/15/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by chrissy2 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12244) - you deserved it (29552)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40393) - you deserved it (3824)
On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30056) - you deserved it (9632)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38655) - you deserved it (3272)
On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11436) - you deserved it (42768)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)
Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13022) - you deserved it (27237)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (3687)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (3479)
On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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