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spreadthejoy's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7821) - you deserved it (17616)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (5459)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10698) - you deserved it (36795)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (4096)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (22632)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (27147)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

#19766559
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (4460)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm - love - by anon - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

#19761942
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (1841)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Lily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

#19756673
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (1648)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

#19756229
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16649) - you deserved it (4265)

On 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! (woman) - Mexico

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12711) - you deserved it (42988)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25920) - you deserved it (8204)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21325) - you deserved it (2110)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (4570)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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