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spaerro

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  • Number of visits : 3335
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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spaerro's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7286) - you deserved it (96848)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46847) - you deserved it (9273)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29340) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (26641)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34095) - you deserved it (5793) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was woken up by the sound of part of my kitchen ceiling hitting the floor. FML

#14455571
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25592) - you deserved it (2077)

On 01/03/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by erlad678 -

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

#14254809
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41655) - you deserved it (3473)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:14am - love - by fouryearswasted - United States

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

#14150271
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (8267)

On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (6404)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

#13876582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (7128)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that the only reason he's attracted to me and asked me to marry him is because I look and act like his favorite anime character. FML

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (14145)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (11644)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11974) - you deserved it (45930)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)



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