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spaerro's favorite FMLs
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm / Slovakia (Bratislava) / Miscellaneous
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health
by erlad678 / 01/03/2011 at 9:59pm / Miscellaneous
by fouryearswasted / 12/19/2010 at 12:14am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:09am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 7:56pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm / Miscellaneous
Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML
by mrtut / 10/29/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Kids
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
by badteacher / 10/24/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't… Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over… Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I…