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Today... I had mah buddies over fir a few beers and... trying to be cool... I told mah wife to get out of the living room an back in the kitchen. I felt smug... right up until she said... "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over fir another 20 minutes... dick." FML
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the split to the group. I slid down, legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted fir the full 5 second it took to reach the ground. FML
Today,hila working as sacurity fir a football gama, I told a woman sha wasn't allowd to bring har snickars bar into tha stadium bacausa no outsida food was allowd in. Sha thraw it at mah faca than trid to spit on ma. I hata paopla. FML
today as a physic teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One grl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I looool replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needles to say, she was picked on all day. mega FML
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line 4 the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think your a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other student said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child 4 life. FML
Friday 27 March 2015