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spaerro

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  • Number of visits : 3342
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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spaerro's favorite FMLs

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (2348)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (5793)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

#17512711
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/18/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bill - United States

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (49952)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (49952)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (9244)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (9640)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (3813)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39267) - you deserved it (7286)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (21706)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13883) - you deserved it (56942)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40997) - you deserved it (5496)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40997) - you deserved it (5496)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (14525)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (4252)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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