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spaerro's favorite FMLs
by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
by Benjamin / 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 3:54pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm / United States / Work
by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by sadkid / 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by FullOfNick / 09/10/2011 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML
by itsgonnabealongnight... / 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends happily announced that although they had been cut, they were still going to be playing on the school's volleyball team. The rumor going around is that everyone who tried out made the team. I never got a call back. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2011 at 12:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…