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spaerro

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  • Number of visits : 2806
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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spaerro's favorite FMLs

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (4147)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

#18844596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (4230)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (6680)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34098) - you deserved it (9730)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (53416)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27708) - you deserved it (3321)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (26399)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (5285)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

#18444648
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (4551)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (5302)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45474) - you deserved it (4284)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (6020)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38827) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (3965)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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