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Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9332) - you deserved it (58789)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55524) - you deserved it (323333)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53249) - you deserved it (17133)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (407166) - you deserved it (26454)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (337723)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12776) - you deserved it (37283)
On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (6975)
On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19820) - you deserved it (3882)
On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19820) - you deserved it (3882)
On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (1814)
On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (6952)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (1283)
On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)
Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17794) - you deserved it (3968)
On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version
Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17440) - you deserved it (1433)
On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11289) - you deserved it (1258)
On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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