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spaerro's favorite FMLs
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by amazed / 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
by emoflowers / 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML
by Honey Badger / 03/08/2012 at 12:47am / United States / Work
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…