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spaerro

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  • Number of visits : 3373
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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spaerro's favorite FMLs

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (2695)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML

#19491584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15827) - you deserved it (3179)

On 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by amazed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (3670)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (2660)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (55284) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14558) - you deserved it (34497)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18306) - you deserved it (47519)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (2800)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (6051)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

#19237178
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11649) - you deserved it (19313)

On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (3908)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17204) - you deserved it (29542)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8413) - you deserved it (19008)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (4711)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada



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