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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
42
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37887) - you deserved it (4863) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2013 at 2:58am - misc - by grossesfesses (woman) - France (Picardie)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (5086)
On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (3825)
On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (3162)
On 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by meikd423 - Sent from mobile version
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (27828)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42881) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9838) - you deserved it (37427)
On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (5130)
On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10909) - you deserved it (35521)
On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38257) - you deserved it (10978)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (14929)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version
Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (1744)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by Nomoretexting (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (3655)
On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27649) - you deserved it (5183)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10959) - you deserved it (24626)
On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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