souljacker

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souljacker

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 959
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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souljacker's page activity

Visits<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:40pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Bella_fairchild1</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 5:45am<b>xxBmth2080</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:18pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:44pm<b>celestrial_light</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 11:55pm<b>TwinChapter</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 11:47pm<b>rlfender32</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:28am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 9:59am<b>Timmeeh</b> - the 12/09/2012 at 5:29am

souljacker's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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souljacker's favorite FMLs

Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML

by grossesfesses / 05/15/2013 at 2:58am / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

by omgstuupidd / 02/17/2013 at 9:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

by meikd423 / 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm / Intimacy

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

by sad-sexed / 09/06/2010 at 8:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

by bkay26 / 08/29/2010 at 11:37am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

by H8TR / 08/26/2010 at 9:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

by Photagrapher / 08/18/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

by Nomoretexting / 11/01/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

by SheWentCrayola / 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

by explodingpupppet / 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous