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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1300
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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somnolent's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:28pm<b>planetliam12</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:44pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:29am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 11/27/2009 at 11:16am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/25/2009 at 4:56pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/25/2009 at 8:11am<b>mcdys</b> - the 11/17/2009 at 10:22pm

somnolent's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

somnolent's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

by .... / 12/31/2009 at 1:23am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

by dripping sink / 12/30/2009 at 11:34am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

by EgoMoose / 12/28/2009 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

by Mogg / 12/18/2009 at 3:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

by soy_un_perderdor / 12/13/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML

by tawan / 12/04/2009 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

by Jen / 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

by Nick / 11/27/2009 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

by HeSaysImNoBeard / 11/26/2009 at 11:47am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

by SeeBrendenBurn / 11/21/2009 at 3:28am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

by WhyTheEff / 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

by lonelyman / 11/20/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous