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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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somnolent

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somnolent
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 487
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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somnolent's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5181) - you deserved it (39121)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (16852) - you deserved it (2516)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

#7034153 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (13791) - you deserved it (8231)

On 12/30/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by dripping sink - United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21232) - you deserved it (3712)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

#6806801 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (1974)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it's Saturday night. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get excited thinking about getting to sleep with a new pillow. FML

#6733477 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (16796) - you deserved it (4493)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782 (14)

I agree, your life sucks (7491) - you deserved it (24172)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that although he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was actually shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML

#6598474 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (1740)

On 12/04/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by tawan - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (21475)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (8712) - you deserved it (17687)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

#6461319 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (5218)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (1811)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (33454) - you deserved it (4928)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463 (803)

I agree, your life sucks (17350) - you deserved it (171835)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)