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Somnolent's FML badges
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    14%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    5%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Somnolent's favorite FMLs

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

By rain - / Monday 1 June 2009 02:05 / United States

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

By .... - / Thursday 31 December 2010 06:23 / Canada

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

By dripping sink / Wednesday 30 December 2010 16:34 / United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

By EgoMoose - / Monday 28 December 2010 05:02 / United States

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

By Mogg - / Friday 18 December 2009 08:42 / Australia