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solitaryspook

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solitaryspook
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  • Number of visits : 1877
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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solitaryspook's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107776) - you deserved it (8043)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (65967)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27300) - you deserved it (9387)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)



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