Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sleepindevil

Search for a member

sleepindevil

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1266
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About sleepindevil : Just an average person.

sleepindevil's page activity

Visits<b>kingcaper817</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:20pm<b>BrokenLemon</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 6:29pm<b>hox83</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 7:25pm<b>etoilenuit</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 12:34am<b>zebralover23</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:23am<b>BESTFRIENDJK</b> - the 04/01/2012 at 3:48am<b>ChChCharlie</b> - the 03/27/2012 at 3:04pm<b>Meowingtons500</b> - the 01/20/2012 at 7:08pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 10:23pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 3:16pm<b>himoonkey</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 11:55am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 12/11/2011 at 11:02am<b>lmc94</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 5:14pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/29/2011 at 8:43pm<b>shrdlu</b> - the 11/29/2011 at 11:11am<b>raphanne</b> - the 11/24/2011 at 7:28am<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 11/18/2011 at 2:56pm<b>zombicidal</b> - the 11/01/2011 at 10:51pm

sleepindevil's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of sleepindevil's badges

sleepindevil's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (5832)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you deserved it (3935)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (3910)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8675) - you deserved it (28513)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (10198)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

#17611743
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (6748)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:06am - intimacy - by hopeless-.- (woman) - United States

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (11226)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9152) - you deserved it (35705)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9152) - you deserved it (35705)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17824) - you deserved it (32191)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14079) - you deserved it (28552)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (13242)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you deserved it (5366)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70697) - you deserved it (15337)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

#14427876
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (3255)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:50pm - love - by drfrogpepper (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: