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About sleepindevil : Just an average person.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4726) - you deserved it (14076)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22495) - you deserved it (5627)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3045) - you deserved it (6957)
On 12/09/2011 at 11:26am - love - by LinaLinaYeah (woman) - Canada
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (28321)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (2064)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8643) - you deserved it (29531)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8864) - you deserved it (732)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19380) - you deserved it (1599)
On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8753) - you deserved it (39291)
Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7490) - you deserved it (546)
On 11/23/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by CRC (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML
I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (3177)
On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11247) - you deserved it (3059)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (2444)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by insulted - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (4047)
On 11/13/2011 at 7:46am - love - by notthatkinkyanyway - China (Beijing)
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (1333)
On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
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