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sjlovey

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sjlovey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 895
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sjlovey : descriptions are for losers. why would I want someone that I don't know reading about me?

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sjlovey's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36092) - you deserved it (9420)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18850) - you deserved it (51138)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

#17503951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (6099)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML

#17351481
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39049) - you deserved it (2927)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:01am - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14908) - you deserved it (64506)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20317) - you deserved it (52371)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33886) - you deserved it (2967)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (39058)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16622) - you deserved it (41440)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you deserved it (3205)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14141) - you deserved it (39470)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30538) - you deserved it (4935)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54249) - you deserved it (4713)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

#14775233
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32865) - you deserved it (3594)

On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

#14634381
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9819) - you deserved it (30849)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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