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sirbrainiac

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sirbrainiac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 632
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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sirbrainiac's page activity

Visits<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:04pm<b>Chuzza</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 1:30pm

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sirbrainiac's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39709) - you deserved it (22597)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you deserved it (30830)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (17610)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (17610)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (7949)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40502) - you deserved it (5224)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (6092)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46490) - you deserved it (3580)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19916) - you deserved it (43694)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85223) - you deserved it (13071)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17319) - you deserved it (34403)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (6769)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (9489)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (6872)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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