Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sirbrainiac

Search for a member

sirbrainiac

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 675
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sirbrainiac's page activity

Visits<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:04pm<b>Chuzza</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 1:30pm

sirbrainiac's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

sirbrainiac's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50123) - you deserved it (7429)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64941) - you deserved it (6590)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57462) - you deserved it (4906)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9748) - you deserved it (26091)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (2013)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

#20022605
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (9349)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (2214)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

#20007763
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (2112)

On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21662) - you deserved it (5735)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

#19994293
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (2144)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17289) - you deserved it (21835)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52340) - you deserved it (10707)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24050) - you deserved it (3267)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15508) - you deserved it (29789)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62516) - you deserved it (4628)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: