sirbrainiac

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sirbrainiac

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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sirbrainiac's page activity

Visits<b>DOLCEANATOR</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:17am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:04pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:41am<b>Chuzza</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 1:30pm

sirbrainiac's FML badges

Mobility

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

sirbrainiac's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm / United States / Love

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

by TJ / 08/08/2012 at 7:23am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

by Blackfell / 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm / United States / Love

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

by Nightmares / 08/07/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

by loser / 07/31/2012 at 10:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

by metallifreak44 / 11/14/2011 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

by ThatHurts / 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy