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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7653) - you deserved it (21478)
On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (1343)
On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13716) - you deserved it (6815)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16724) - you deserved it (1456)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (1754)
On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16415) - you deserved it (4896)
On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States
Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you deserved it (1444)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12732) - you deserved it (3134)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43733) - you deserved it (7692)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18280) - you deserved it (2321)
On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12521) - you deserved it (21289)
On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53256) - you deserved it (3341)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (17112)
On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13317) - you deserved it (21503)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (15421)
On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 17 June 2013
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