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Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19783) - you deserved it (8463)
On 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19189) - you deserved it (2563)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54615) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72919) - you deserved it (5696)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52613) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (61584)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59557) - you deserved it (12172)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (73773)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58593) - you deserved it (156945)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119360) - you deserved it (5924)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56213) - you deserved it (20773)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177909) - you deserved it (25396)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75440) - you deserved it (7518)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (570998)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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