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simpsonize2019

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1014
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Hobbit79</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:15am<b>Sammitheshit</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:22pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 4:04am

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yesterday I purchasd an app to track mah period . When mah mother askd mehy I got it.. . I told her I was going to use it so I knewhen to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie . She slappd me in the face and calld me a drty prostitute and a liar . FML

#16752428
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46499) - you deserved it (8631)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, mah boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment . FML

#15871654
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (11552)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I painted a kids room at mah new nanny jobhile the dad "helped" by staring at mah ass and telling me how hard it is to position yur "junk" correctlyhen wereing a speedo. First day on the job. big fat FML

#15865508
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (3444)

On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

TODAY , I TRID TO GET MAH WIFE TO HAVE SEX WITH ME , SHE TOLD ME SHE COULDN'T CUZ SHE HAD HER PERIOD. SHE'S TWO MONTH PREGNANT. FML

#15858919
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46290) - you deserved it (10763)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Taday I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a showerhile he went downstars. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered "slut"hile pouring him orange juice. FML

#15831964
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (20680)

On 04/18/2011 at 5:34am - intimacy - by sllaggy -

2day I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me . He then told me he will die without me . When looool I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK . I'll kill myself!' an then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself . I can't believe I datd this idiot . FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49963) - you deserved it (14116)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Yastarday, I paid €100 to hava a tuba shovad down mah ganitals. FML

#15154562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (7248)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -

Yesterday, I discoverd I have dandruff, which I never had before. I googld the possible reasons an those r depression an hormones. Not only have I not had sex for a year, but it's also the reason I have dandruff. And apparently I'm depressd. How sexy is that? FML

#15150617
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (6197)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:27am - intimacy - by icareaboutmyhair (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrotehile staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked . The same table we often eat off . fat FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (4613)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

TODAY I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY THAT YOU CAN GET CARPAL TUNNEL FROM MASTURBATING . FML

#15143494
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12396) - you deserved it (38014)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I overhered my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight . There is over three and a half looool feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come . FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today... I married a wonderful man. Even toug bot of us were no longer vrgins... we decided to wait until marriage to sleep togeter. He just told me I was te worst e's ever ad. FML

#15133415
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46337) - you deserved it (12221)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by newlywed - United States (Utah)

Yesterday... I found outhy my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button.

#15127410
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54387) - you deserved it (4721)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, My Fiancé An I Were Cuddling On The Couch Watching TVhen We Started Kissing. As I Crawled Onto His Lap An Started To Unzip His Pants, He Said, "You're Blocking The TV." FML

#15114672
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (6316)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France

Today,hile having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible thathen I bend over backwards, the backs of knees can touch shoulders. My boyfriend looool is now extremely jealou and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

#15113643
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43847) - you deserved it (4222)

On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)



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