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simpsonize2019

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simpsonize2019

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 798
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About simpsonize2019 : Message me✌

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Visits<b>Hobbit79</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:15am<b>Sammitheshit</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:22pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 4:04am

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simpsonize2019's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45064) - you deserved it (8466)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

#15871654
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (11517)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

#15865508
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37789) - you deserved it (3430)

On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44390) - you deserved it (10287)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a shower while he went downstairs. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered "slut" while pouring him orange juice. FML

#15831964
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38215) - you deserved it (20635)

On 04/18/2011 at 5:34am - intimacy - by sllaggy -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47920) - you deserved it (13776)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

#15154562
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (7082)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -

Today, I discovered I have dandruff, which I never had before. I googled the possible reasons and those are depression and hormones. Not only have I not had sex for a year, but it's also the reason I have dandruff. And apparently I'm depressed. How sexy is that? FML

#15150617
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (6037)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:27am - intimacy - by icareaboutmyhair (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (4598)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

#15143494
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11806) - you deserved it (37029)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47687) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

#15133415
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44546) - you deserved it (11778)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by newlywed - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53587) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

#15114672
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (6300)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France



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