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Simpsonize2019's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 4 January 2012 06:43 / United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 17 August 2011 13:00 / United States

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

By waytootan - / Monday 22 August 2011 20:34 / United States

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

By Anonymous / Monday 22 August 2011 19:35 / United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

By rene / Monday 22 August 2011 16:46 / United States