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simpsonize2019

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simpsonize2019

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1012
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Hobbit79</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:15am<b>Sammitheshit</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:22pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 4:04am

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my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount ofhiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. mega FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (57076)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (11467)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

2day while stuck in traffic on the highway... my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". mega FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44576) - you deserved it (2853)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation!! I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper!! FML

#17360592
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (3752)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:43pm - kids - by CrappyLuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my son learnd how to use the toilet 4 the first time . He was so excitd he startd peeing on the floor . big fat FML

#17355075
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26197) - you deserved it (2731)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spankd him as punishment. When mah boss cummd over for dinner, mah son shoutd, "Daddy made me take mah punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45136) - you deserved it (14934)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today mah boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for mah vagina!! Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex!! FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51389) - you deserved it (9866)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge!! I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire!! FML

#17326829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28098) - you deserved it (5203)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY, I WAS FEELING A LITTLE NAUGHTY, SO I PUTTED ON A SEXY OUTFIT, LAID DOWN ON THE HOOD OF BOYFRIEND'S CAR, AN WAITED FOR HIM TO FINE ME. WHEN HE CUMMED INTO THE GARAGE AN SAW ME, HE FREAKED OUT AN BITCHED AT ME, CUZ I ( COULD HAVE DENTED THE CHASSIS ). FML

#17322871
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34183) - you deserved it (14940)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walkd in on us having sex. He startd crying and ran into the bathroom where my cloths were locatd, leaving me to deal with his mother. Nakd.

#17313020
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39911) - you deserved it (7541)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (2801)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today , wile looool aving sex , boyfriend decidd to sing te Star Wars teme song as e enterd is penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39272) - you deserved it (9970)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, my 17 year old askd looool me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raisd this dumbass. FML

#17302566
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (17096)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, mah younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overhered, cummed in the living room and said, "It's yur little brother, now shut up." She was serious. mega FML

#17301122
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36662) - you deserved it (6788)

On 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm - kids - by Username - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can fine me in his room wearing something sexy . He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

#17299203
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (5050)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Elizabeth (woman) - United States (Florida)



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