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simpsonize2019

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simpsonize2019

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 791
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Hobbit79</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:15am<b>Sammitheshit</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:22pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 4:04am

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Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

#17522929
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (10749)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (5141)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

#17518141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (2449)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:11am - health - by pizzachest - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you deserved it (6271)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you deserved it (6271)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

#17503951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (6097)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11772) - you deserved it (32744)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML

#17497875
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

#17493123
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (2400)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33011) - you deserved it (2850)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

#17480475
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (4722)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

#17473520
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27872) - you deserved it (9048)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

#17471195
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (3568)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

#17463558
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (4288)

On 08/13/2011 at 9:17pm - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

#17457202
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (16228)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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