About sicksadworld1317 : Dominatrix, lover of Tanqueray and Cabernet, hater of Jersey Shore, and firm believer in the looming 2012 Zombie Apocalypse. Questions, comments, or concerns? Please direct them to Beiber Lovesbuttsecks at 6969 Drive, City of Upyourass, ZIP Code: 12345.
Hey, doesn't that Zip Code sound like a combination an idiot would have on his luggage?
Penis.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (2469)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (1809)
On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (2085)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (2105)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (2632)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (3830)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (1982)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (2678)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9720) - you deserved it (40032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (5428) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you deserved it (4638)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (6391)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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