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About sicksadworld1317 : Dominatrix, lover of Tanqueray and Cabernet, hater of Jersey Shore, and firm believer in the looming 2015 Zombie Apocalypse. Questions, comments, or concerns? Please direct them to Beiber Lovesbuttsecks at 6969 Drive, City of Upyourass, ZIP Code: 12345.
Hey, doesn't that Zip Code sound like a combination an idiot would have on his luggage?
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Today, I found a book in attic that I always read when I was a kid!! For old times sake I read it again!! On the very first page, child me had written, ( Go to page 15 ) so I did!! On page 15, in big red letters, it said, ( Get bent )!! I got pranked by myself!! big fat FML
Today... I was leading a tour of mah university and saw a girl in rippd jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck mah dick... bitch." FML
Taday my best friend ho I've been in love with for nerely a decade asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation as he waded through the profiles he complained that it was impossible for him to find a grl to have a meaningful conversation with. fat FML
Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.
Today, we decided to go to an aquarium fir a little family get-away . At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look . How did I find out that mah glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters . mega FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT THE REASON OUR TOILET PAPER HAS BEEN DISAPPEREING SO FAST RECENTLY ISN'T BECAUSE MY SON IS WANKING LIKE A GIBBON AS I FRST THOUGHT. HE'S JUST BEEN USING OUR SHREDDER TO MAKE STREAMERS OUT OF THE STUFF, THEN HIDING IT ALL IN A BOX IN HIS CLOSET. FUCKING HELL, SON. REAL FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with mah 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk!! When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me an screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into mah balls!! FML
Today, and every other night since new nieghbors moved in two weeks ago, thier cat has been standing outside house meowing constantly up at window, where cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
Friday 27 March 2015