Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sicksadworld1317

Online | Search for a member

sicksadworld1317

2Liked!

sicksadworld1317sicksadworld1317
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 909
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About sicksadworld1317 : Dominatrix, lover of Tanqueray and Cabernet, hater of Jersey Shore, and firm believer in the looming 2015 Zombie Apocalypse. Questions, comments, or concerns? Please direct them to Beiber Lovesbuttsecks at 6969 Drive, City of Upyourass, ZIP Code: 12345.

Hey, doesn't that Zip Code sound like a combination an idiot would have on his luggage?

Penis.

sicksadworld1317's page activity

Visits<b>jeztar_c</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:47am<b>Sfwrty</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:07pm<b>Steve1872</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:45am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 8:10pm<b>Ohshitdude</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:58pm<b>AkashaSC2</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 6:55pm<b>thenewgirl29</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:32am<b>TPH1979</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 7:17pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:48am<b>AGB10</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:06am<b>tbro47</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:10am<b>steeler088</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:41pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:34am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:17am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 9:36am<b>docsnow84</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 8:03am<b>Tr0ub3l</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:41am<b>Marcella1016</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:50am

Liked!<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:11am<b>Sfwrty</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 6:43am

sicksadworld1317's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of sicksadworld1317's badges

sicksadworld1317's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (3309)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

#21328958
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (5817)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36193) - you deserved it (5856)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33466) - you deserved it (6458)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (4390)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (7884)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (53119)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39361) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32134) - you deserved it (4011)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

#21264917
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (5800)

On 09/25/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42119) - you deserved it (11731)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (16407)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: