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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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shuttingyouup

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shuttingyouup
  • Town/Country : Nowhere, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 January 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 196
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shuttingyouup : I cannot stand obnoxious people. So, uhm. Yeah, that's why I'm here. >:[

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shuttingyouup's favorite FMLs

Today, while socialising after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming, "The devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (20275) - you deserved it (2140)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

#13083024 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (27678)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (4512) - you deserved it (16077)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you deserved it (24925)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33667) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML

#8749925 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (3805) - you deserved it (22084)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:50pm - work - by themanontheright - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (13034) - you deserved it (6661)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (4430) - you deserved it (35496)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

#8716730 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you deserved it (5600)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:05pm - animals - by Man vs. Spider - United States

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

#8715488 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (16370) - you deserved it (1696)

On 02/28/2010 at 11:00am - work - by Renesmeekuhnell (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML

#8714094 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (4028)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:26am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

#8713665 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (13891) - you deserved it (1211)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (1456)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (1564)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

#5461369 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (7467) - you deserved it (18980)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by rebel_rose (woman) - United States (Iowa)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.